I Didn't Even Know I Wanted This

Our household has a new baby, a 9-week old Morkie puppy. Her name is Lila. She LOVES me... most likely because I am the one who feeds her. Our family has never had a small dog. My husband is a lover of labs and after caring for Lila for the past few weeks the quote that keeps going through my head is "I didn't even know I wanted this."

Here's the story of Lila's arrival. A couple months ago our cat Puff passed away. My daughter Faith is a huge animal lover and dreams of becoming a veterinarian someday. She was begging and begging for us to get another pet. Our chocolate lab Lia passed away at age 13 earlier this year. We also had a fish pass away so our family has shed a few tears this year.

I was given this idea of getting our family a small house dog. I sent a photo to my husband at work and he 'okayed' it. Even I thought I was crazy. I'm far too busy to take on a commitment like a puppy. I even prayed about it. I can't even tell you why I started thinking about getting this little fur baby. However, I did feel like this was something God confirmed and wanted me to move forward with and so I did.

I had it all planned. When my daughter got home on her 9th birthday, (which was her super exciting GOLDEN birthday) we would introduce this puppy to our family. We had informed our sons about the surprise but we hadn't told Faith. What a joyous surprise and celebration it would be!

Surprises come in many forms and aren't always good. We were having the perfect birthday breakfast on a Monday morning and enjoying laughter and a couple small birthday gifts. Everyone was excited about the day ahead especially since our boys knew about the puppy secret!

I noticed our 18-month old yellow lab Snowball had to go out to 'potty'. I was busy with the kids and breakfast so I mentioned to Jeff that Snowball needs to go outside. We continued with our celebration when all of a sudden I noticed my husband in the laundry room shaking with grief.

Our sweet Snowball had dashed after a rabbit in the front yard and bolted instinctively across the street and was hit by a car and killed. It was such a tragic end to a beautiful being so young and full of life. We were all devastated and grieving.

Years ago, when my son Josh was quite young he had opened a Christmas gift from his grandmother. With excitement and joy, he said, "I didn't even know I wanted this!" This statement has become a joke we like to repeat in our immediate and extended family. Whenever we open a questionable gift or get something we aren't quite sure we really want, as a joke, we say, "I didn't even know I wanted this!"

For Lila to be welcomed into our home on the day our sweet Snowball was tragically killed gave a new meaning to this quote for me. My kids went to school anguished in grief that morning and came home to a new puppy after school. We were all upside down and captured in a whirlwind of emotions. I wasn't in the mood that day to even go and get the new puppy. But God prompted me, by no means was Lila a replacement, BUT God provided a loving distraction to assist our family in healing. HE KNEW. Let me tell you, I don't know why a week before that day I went searching for a puppy but God KNEW why - He had it covered even before I knew what the future held. He is always is faithful and provides in our time of need and "HE knew we were going to need this"... lil' Lila to get through the searing loss of Snowball.

God's hand was so good to all of us that day. I witnessed our oldest son display love and comfort toward his younger brother. I witnessed GOD'S PROTECTION for our children as most days one of the boys is responsible for taking Snowball out to potty. One of them might have chased after her and been struck by the car, too. The fragility of life was a lesson everyone was reminded of that morning. There are no take-backs. When life is extinguished on earth, it's final for those left behind. God wants you to live your life in abundance and not to take anything for granted. GOD PROVIDED a quick death for Snowball as she did not have to suffer. GOD COMFORTED me via a rare conversation the cashier at Walgreens struck up with me. I went there to get a birthday card and could barely speak and he started talking to me about birthdays and how to prayer and GOD'S LOVE for me. And, HE softened the hearts of Faith's classmates who all made precious sympathy/birthday cards for her. GOD HEALED by giving us Lila that tragic day to love on.

I miss our sweet Snowball terribly as she was my daily companion. This fall, would have been her first hunting season with our boys. She is forever in our hearts and God taught us many lessons through her life and tragic death.

I am in AWE of what GOD reveals daily to each one of us if we open our eyes. Are you aware of what YOU want or what GOD wants for you? "I didn't even know I wanted this"... it's a simple statement with layers of meaning. I hope you are connected and looking for what you can receive through faith in Jesus Christ. What He wants for our lives is much more than what we could ever imagine or understand.

#God #Dogs #Pets #puppy #morkie #surprises